


Ghostbusters Missing Scene

by BaronVonChop



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: (hopefully), Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 18:39:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18580306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaronVonChop/pseuds/BaronVonChop
Summary: What if the post-credit scene in the 2016 Ghostbusters movie had been a bit longer?





	Ghostbusters Missing Scene

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta reader for helping with the story! Any remaining mistakes are my own.

Patty knits her brows and purses her lips. She adjusts her headphones, rewinds a bit, then listens again. Finally, she takes off her headphones, shakes her head, and turns to the others. "What's Zuul?"

Erin, Abby, and Holtzmann exchange a glance and walk over. "What do you mean?" Erin asks.

Patty unplugs her headphones, adjusts the audio settings, and says, "Listen to this." At first, the speakers play white noise. Patty sits back, watching the other three, who lean forward toward the speaker.

A voice emerges from the white noise. Erin's mouth opens, Abby starts to dance from foot to foot, and Holtzmann's eyes go wide. The voice drones on, as though reciting something or chanting, until it says the word ‘Zuul.' Patty smacks the Pause button.

"See? Zuul! Now, what does that mean to you? It could be a place, or, or a person, or maybe a group…"

Abby's eyebrows shoot up. "What does Zuul mean? What does any of it mean? That was just gibberish!"

Patty sighs. "It's not gibberish, it's ancient Sumerian. Whatever this Zuul is, it's important, so we should--"

"Hold up!" Erin says, waving her hands in front of her. "Ancient Sumerian?"

"Yeah," Patty says.

Holtzmann chuckles. "Cool."

"You speak ancient Sumerian?" Erin asks.

"Yeah. Anyway, it sounds like--"

Abby cuts in. "And you never mentioned it?"

"It's hard to bring up in a conversation! It's usually not exactly relevant. I was waiting for the right moment."

Holtzmann gives a lopsided smile. "When's the right moment to reveal that you speak ancient Sumerian?"

"I don't know, I thought maybe we'd be fighting a ghost, and it would be talking smack in ancient Sumerian, and I could bust out an awesome comeback, and as it ran off to sulk, you'd all be like, oh, Patty, what'd you just say? And I'd be like, nah, it doesn't translate." She smiles. "Or, actually, I had this other idea, that we'd be at a conference, and they'd have two lines to get in, one for people with PhDs, and one for people without PhDs, and you all would be like, sorry, Patty, you have to use that other line, and I'd be like, no way, I got a PhD, too!"

Erin shakes her head. "I don't think that's how conferences work."

Patty shrugs. "Yeah, I've never been to one like that either, but you never know!"

Abby puts her hands on her hips. "So, a PhD in ancient Sumerian. All this time."

Patty waves a dismissive hand modestly. "Well, technically it's a PhD in ancient languages. I picked up some Babylonian, some Persian, and then, you know, the usual, Greek, Hebrew, Arabic, some Chinese…"

Abby chuckles. "We had no idea! You worked in the subway!"

"Yeah, and let me tell you, that's not an easy job to get. The guy before me had a PhD in Differential Topology. The only reason I got the job was because he was was caught self-plagiarizing in a paper."

Erin says, "I always say that plagiarizing yourself can be perfectly normal and healthy," she adjusts her sleeves, avoiding eye contact, "as long as you keep it in your drafts."

Holzmann stage-whispers, "One time I cited myself, but I spelled my own name wrong."

Patty shrieks with laughter. "You're some kinda freak!"

Abby raises her voice about the laughter the follows. "But why didn't you mention it while applying for the job? Ancient languages could totally be relevant when catching ghosts!"

Now it is Patty's job to look bashful. She toys with her necklace for a moment before saying, "Well, y'all seemed really cool, and I wanted the job." She grins. "I didn't want you to think I was over-qualified!"


End file.
